Your life or not?

1:35:00 PM Elaine Loke 1 Comments

Current status about my life: I don't think it's my life I'm living.

I'm born in a world where it seems like everybody should be a doctor, scientist, lawyer or engineer. If we don't choose either one of that, we're consider as the black sheep of the family. 

Careers such as actress, model and singer are consider as bad careers. 

Chasing for our dreams is called going against our parents. 

Insisting on our dreams is known as betraying our family. 

Doing something we love is acknowledge as a reckless action. 

Not listening to advices is called disrespectful. 

Living our life the way we want is known as stubborn and stupid. 

Is it only me? Or does everyone experiences this too? 

Everything we do, every step we take, instead of making us feel more alive, it makes us feel like we're losing ourselves, we're living another person's life. 
Those days when we still couldn't reach the doorknob, how much we tried to explain ourselves, how much we tried to communicate, but we're only seen as talking back, being disrespectful, being a naughty child. In the end, we grow up with the mindset that communicating will never work, since nobody listens to us. 

How many things we had wanted to do, that we had gathered the courage to go for it, and it never happened, because of a 'NO'? How many more things we have to give up before we get to do something that makes us feel alive? 

Have you ever feel like you're living your own life? Or do you feel like you're living somebody's life, a life which they never get to live? Everybody tries to be on top. Everybody wants to be on top. Everybody thinks that being on top will ensure a good life, a good everything. Then has anybody ever seen the beauty of being in the middle, or maybe the bottom? Everybody keeps climbing up in hopes to see the blue sky, but nobody tries to admire the beauty of the soil. You know, climbing so high doesn't guarantee you a clear blue sky. Sometimes, you'll see rain and thunder instead. 

Everybody only knows to look up. Don't you ever want to look down for once and see what has been holding you up? Without it, do you think you get to climb high up? Without it, what will be your base? 

You say I should be a doctor, a lawyer or either a scientist to be on top. What if I don't wanna be on top? I rather be at the bottom with happiness than being on top and hate my life. I only live once. For this one and only life, I want to do something I love. I don't want to do something I hate just because everybody is doing it. Wait, you keep asking me to wait. How many opportunities had I threw away because I have to 'wait'? This path I'm walking on, how much I dread I'm not on it.

This, is not what I want.

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1 comment:

  1. Life is but compromises like a boat sailing into the seas going around obstacles for fear it might capsize or even destroy the boat, but as we sail along the unknown seas we may never see our home port to call home ever again,and as we look around us it there is nothing but the blueness of the sky and the seas....

    But i suppose in the end does it even matter... we sail along with the guidance of the night stars and with the knowledge and intuition of finding land and hoping that land isn't a barren land but a land with opportunity.... hoping desperately that a storm doesn't come along and destroy the boat....hoping that the guidance isn't false...hope and hope and hope ......

    things may not be as how you want now same with me too but i go along with the hope that when the time comes I'm able to make my own decisions even if it means going against the current. I too am uncertain of my future but my advice is to take stock of the situation you're in and take your time to decide what is it you want,why you want it and whether or not its worth doing it.

    Best of luck :D
    ps from someone you probably know ;)