Results day

1:17:00 PM Elaine Loke 0 Comments

YAY! The wait is finally over! I never knew time passes so fast. Suddenly, it's already March and for all I know, SPM results are out! 

To be honest, I wasn't super excited to collect my results. I wasn't looking forward to meet my high school friends or even going back to school. End up, I collected my results from the office after college. 

I attended classes as normal with Jenny (she took IGCSE) since I wasn't planning to go back to school. Nearer 10am, I started getting super nervous about my results.I was waiting for a phone call so desperately. WHY? Here's why:
In my high school, the teachers will announce the names of those students who got straight As in SPM. If your name is not called, it's the end. You know you didn't get straight As. This was partly a reason why I didn't want to go. I was waiting for a phone call because I hope the teacher would call out my name, and when my friends didn't see me going up on stage to receive my results, they'll call me and ask where I am. 

Around 11.30am, I got a call from Jan. She asked me where I was and told me my name was called out! I instantly cried out in joy and when I returned back to class, my lecturer and classmates ask me what's wrong, and when I told them, my lecturer came up and gave me a long hug. 

I was like...

Hold it in... hold it in...

Ate Korean food for lunch with Jenny at The Street Cafe to celebrate my SPM results. 
Sorry for the disgusting picture. I took it halfway after eating it. 

While we were walking to TSC, we saw helium balloons tied to the side mirror of each car. After eating, we decided to get one balloon from a random car because I wanted to try out the helium gas. 

Jenny helped me to get the balloon and we spent around 5 minutes untieing the balloon from the side mirror. And... we were late for class. Aiya, nobody in class also! xD 
Tried out the helium gas in front of my maths teacher and guess what?! My voice didn't change at all! Maybe my technique of swallowing it was wrong. :( Felt so wasted because Jenny tried so hard to untie the balloon for me and I spent 15 seconds swallowing the gas and my voice ended up not changing. T^T

Back to the results ...

UPSR- straight As

PMR - straight As

SPM - straight As

YES! I did it! All straight As for my UPSR, PMR and SPM! Achievement unlocked! ^^

So, I was really hoping for some good words from my mom when she comes home from work, but it didn't happen. The first thing she asked me was not my results, but my friends. Frankly speaking, I got pissed off instantly. I'm pretty sure she already knew my results from my dad but I was hoping she would still ask me as I thought she would wanna hear it from me. Instead, she asked me my friends' results which I don't know and I'm not planning to know either. I just can't believe she's still comparing my results with my friends. It made me feel sad and pathetic. 
Why can't you just be happy with my results?
Why compare?
Does it make you feel happier if you compare my results with others?
Does it make your heart calmer when you say "If other people can get straight A+, why can't you?"? 
Is getting straight As too little for you? 
Why can't you, for once, put yourself in my shoes? Try feeling it. Feel what it's like when your parents compare you with others. 

I know parents who are reading this might think I'm a spoilt brat and stuff like that. But for once, I just wish you all could put yourself in our (teenagers) shoes. I struggle hard to get the results you all wish me to get. You all say it's for my own good. I did it. You said nothing. Now when I look at my results, all I see is a piece of paper. A piece of paper with ink which fades after time passes. A piece of paper which cost me all my precious childhood time. A piece of paper which made me give up doing things I really love? How many of us look back into our childhood memories and all we can think of is studying, tuition and constant lecturing about getting good results? 

You're all free to judge me and comment about how terrible I am but this is just something I've been bottling up inside my mind. Every time I speak, you shoot me down with a thousand reasons. It seems as though I'm always wrong, you're always right. We see the world differently but you're forcing me to see it the way you see it. You want me to accomplish the things you didn't but when I did it, you say I didn't put much effort in it. No matter what I do, it'll never be good enough for you. 

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